For those who desire to reduce or completely get rid of same gender attraction there are certain behaviors and beliefs that tend to go along with this issue that can be highly detrimental if not understood. It is helpful to know what these characteristics are and why they are there.
Bottom line is - same gender attraction is based on childhood trauma. There may be other scenarios as well, but according to Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, one common scenario goes back to lack of proper attachment with both parents. The child did not feel fully seen, known, and accepted.
This is not meant to throw blame onto parents. No-one knowingly wants to cause this type of problem. This is about gaining understanding. For more information consider reading the book: Shame and Attachment Loss (commission link) by Joseph J. Nicolosi and listen to the resources found on Make Your Own Decision.
A person with these attractions is hurting so much due to what they missed in childhood that their focus is largely inward focused. They have difficulty looking outward.
Looking deep within is so important. Please do not let these beliefs and behaviors limit you in any way. Recognize these beliefs and behaviors, have compassion for yourself, forgive yourself, and then vow to rise above and move forward working to reduce and get rid of these beliefs and behaviors. This will open up so many possibilities for you to start connecting in genuine heart-felt ways in your relationships with both genders.
A statement from a pastor on YouTube is very enlightening. "Your experiences are not your identity." Don't let your experiences lead you to believe it is your identity.
Choose to be grateful and express that gratitude to a Divine God for the opportunity this challenge presents to draw closer to Him as you work through the trauma and feelings of the past. I give my assurance that He is there and He is aware of you. Put your trust in Him and He will honor every effort.
Ask for the help of loved ones to help you recognize what is going on and listen closely to what they say. They can be of great assistance if you will allow them to do so.
I hope this helps in some way. Please utilize the information here to move yourself out of where you are stuck. I have written this page with a love and concern for you. I know this is a difficult and complex issue. Blessings to you.
Disclaimer: The information provided here is for educational purposes only, and is not intended as diagnosis, treatment or prescription for any disease. The decision to use, or not to use, any of this information is the sole responsibility of the reader. Please consult with a licensed health care practitioner if you are dealing with a serious disease or illness.
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