Same Gender Attraction:
Make Your Own Decision

This page is dedicated to those who may be confused about what the world is telling them about same gender attraction and what they feel deep within them. No resources as to what the world is saying are given here. They are easily found by listening to the news and looking on the internet. A short list of that side of things is given below. The other side is what is harder to find and there is a lot of backlash against it.

It is important to discern truth. You must dig for it and listen closely to your heart to decide what is right. I am not telling you what to do and one has to be careful what is said in this day and age. This information is given out of love, but there are those who will claim that it is out of hate. I strongly encourage you to research, pray, and make your own decisions carefully.

Jump to:

SGA Worldview

SGA Resources

SGA Truth

Therapy Choices

What the World is Saying about Same Gender Attraction

Here are some of the things the world is saying:

You are born with these feelings.
It is genetic.
It is your nature.
There are no predictors for becoming "gay" or "lesbian."
There is nothing you can do about it.
The real reason there is so much depression and suicidal tendencies for those with ssa is because people are discriminatory, not accepting of them and not loving them.
You need to embrace these feelings.
You are shamed because you are gay or lesbian.
There is nothing wrong with acting on these feelings.
Reparative therapy is harmful.
Someone with ssa should never be counseled on being "straight."

What if I Feel that Same Gender Attraction is not my True Nature?

This is the side that is harder to find resources for. I have included resources that I feel are excellent and tell the truth.

Family Watch International: Understanding Same Sex Attraction
Stand4Truth Conference 2015: The Truth about Reparative Therapy (If short on time, listen from 25:30 to 37:00 first and then go back and listen to all of it)
YouTube Video: Dr. Nicolosi explains Causes and Treatment of Male Homosexuality
Stand4Truth Conference 2015: Other Presentations (I recommend listening to all of them, Video 2 which is Panel 1 is my first recommendation so it was listed separately above. Some of these presentations are informative as to the political agenda that is going on.)
Stories of Change: Voices of Change
YouTube Video: Dr. Nicolosi Q&A: The Causes and Treatment of Male Homosexuality (also includes some information relative to underlying issues of female homosexual feelings)
YouTube Video: Dr. Nicolosi Answers Your Questions
Therapy: David Pickup's Website
Therapy: Dr. Joseph Nicolosi's Website
Book: Shame and Attachment Loss: The Practical Work of Reparative Therapy (Commission Link)
The Guard Rail: Context Specific Approach This one has an article that gives insight into personalities of sga people and is good for helping in the meanwhile, but I believe you can slay the dragon he refers to or at least disable that dragon to some degree.

I receive commission from purchases made through this link.

What Science Shows

The real truth that comes out in scientific studies and that comes out in actual experience for those who put in the effort is actually in direct opposition to what the world is saying.

You are not "born" this way.
There is no "gay" or "lesbian" gene. It may be possible that there is a pre-disposition due to a gene or epigenetics, but there has been no genetic basis found.
It is not your true nature.
There are predictors for gender atypical behavior.
Same gender attractions are trauma based.
It is possible to lessen or get rid of same gender attraction feelings.
Authentic, Caring, Re-integrative therapy is not harmful. Like therapy for any reason it is possible that there may be harmful therapies out there and this is not what is being referred to. Do your research!
When the underlying issues causing the attractions are addressed those attractions start to spontaneously go away.
Rates of mental illness, physical health problems, substance abuse in those with same gender attraction show little or no difference based on how accepting a society is perceived to be.
For those who choose to live a homosexual lifestyle there is a greater risk of depression, substance abuse, anxiety, suicidal tendencies and other behavioral problems as well as serious diseases.

Note to those who have same gender attraction and disagree with what is written:

Why are you afraid to ask yourself why you have these attractions? Why are you afraid to look inward? Refer to the following articles:

- Avoiding Feeling Our Emotions

- Avoiding Emotional Healing

For Friends and Family:

Common Behaviors and Characteristics of those with Same Gender Attraction

Consider:

Limiting Beliefs and Behaviors to Changing Same Gender Attraction

Therapy Choices

Because of the agenda of powerful activists and organizations with a lot of money behind them and who want to restrict choice, laws have been passed in some states prohibiting therapists from doing reparative therapy for same gender attraction. For those who wish to work on this and who live in states or countries where those kinds of laws have passed, consider going to therapy and working on the underlying issues (listed below) without telling a therapist what the full goal is. This will protect therapists who would be willing to do reparative therapy, but who legally are prohibited from doing so.

Of course you can always work on things yourself through forgiveness or by learning emotional healing techniques and applying them to yourself. I, of course, also recommend working with energy healing practitioners. I believe energy healing can accelerate the process. The underlying issues listed below are great areas to work on. Working on these underlying issues will help in many areas of life as well.

Father Relationship Issues
Mother Relationship Issues
Lack of Approval
Lack of Affection
Lack of Affirmation
Shame of male/female self
Body Shame
Incidents of Peer Shame/Bullying/Abuse
Incidents of Sexual Abuse
Emotional Abandonment
Wounded
Pain
Anger
Grief
Loss
Anxiety
Loneliness
Rejection/Fear of Rejection
Lack of Self-esteem
Powerless
Inability to live up to own/other's expectations
Preventing/blocking from being in an assertive state
False Self

Feeling:

Need for Approval
Need for Affection
Need for Affirmation
Less than
Weak
Unwanted
Not good enough
Unworthy
Worthless
Unforgivable
A victim
Not masculine/feminine enough
Not a real man/woman
Intimidated by Men/Women
Trapped by issue
Fear of Men/Women
"Need" to Compare
"Need" to hold onto these feelings
Disconnected/Detached from self
Not in body

Last Thoughts

Do not allow those who have no desire to change to restrict your choice to change if that is what you want to do. It is their choice to keep those feelings and act on them if they so choose, but it is your fundamental right to choose to do otherwise even if laws try to restrict that right. They are feeling threatened in some way and as a result are trying to force their beliefs on everyone else. You make the choice as to what you believe and what to do about it. Blessings and love to you.

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Disclaimer: The information provided here is for educational purposes only, and is not intended as diagnosis, treatment or prescription for any disease. The decision to use, or not to use, any of this information is the sole responsibility of the reader. Please consult with a licensed health care practitioner if you are dealing with a serious disease or illness.

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Client quote from the book Shame and Attachment Loss, p. 23

"Don't believe the gay agenda. Go with what your heart and mind are really telling you. This life can never be authentic. If you're on the path to change, don't stop - don't give up. This is so much more joyful than anything I ever did in my crazy, acting out days."